Then And Now

Then: Long hair.

Now:  Longing for hair.

Then: Keg.

Now:  EKG.

Then: Acid rock.

Now:  Acid reflux.

Then: Moving to California because it's cool.

Now:  Moving to California because it's warm.

Then: You're growing pot.

Now:  Your growing a pot.

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.

Now:  Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids.

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

Now:  Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

Then: Seeds and stems.

Now:  Roughage.

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.

Now:  Popping joints.

Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.

Now:  Our president's struggle with fidelity.

Then: Paar.

Now:  AARP.

Then: Killer weed.

Now:  Weed killer.

Then: Hoping for a BMW.

Now:  Hoping for a BM.

Then: The Grateful Dead.

Now:  Dr.  Kevorkian.

Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint.

Now:  Getting a new hip joint.

Then: Rolling Stones.

Now:  Kidney Stones.

Then: Being called into the principal's office.

Now:  Storming into the principal's office.

Then: Screw the system!

Now:  System upgrade.

Then: Peace Sign.

Now:  Mercedes Logo.

Then: Not enough Sex.

Now:  Too much Tax.

Then: Parents begging you to get a haircut.

Now:  Children begging you to get their head shaved.

Then: The perfect high.

Now:  The perfect high-yield mutual fund.

Then: Take acid.

Now:  Take antacid.

Then: Passing the driving test.

Now:  Passing the vision test.

Then: Going bra-less.

Now:  Finding a bra with enough support.

Then: Whatever!

Now:  "Depends"